If I Never Knew You
by Geo
Summary: Whoa! Geo writing a VOE fic? NO WAY! Well, actually...it's true. I just had to write this one! *smiles* Anyways, Hitomi is back on Earth...but wait! She has a weird dream and she needs to see Van right away...or will he be dead by then? note: no i
1. A Dream

Geo

Geo: Hey-hey, it's me again! Yeah!

Brooklyn: *snore*

Geo: *sigh* Stupid muse...she's getting lazy. That's okay! I'll do it myself!

1.) I do not own Vision of Escaflowne. Just like I don't own CCS. There.

2.)I do not own the song "If I Never Knew You" the love theme from Disney's Pocahontas

3.) Sorry to all those who are waiting for my 'DANGEROUS RIVALS' and 'Tomorrow' chapters to come out. I just had to get this out.

Okay, on with the fic! 

**If I Never Knew You**

Hitomi Kanzaki stared out the window during her university math class. It had been five years...five whole years she had left Gaea. And with that, she had left her true love.

She didn't know it at the time. Hell, she had only been in the ninth grade. Sure, it hadn't been that long ago, but she was young. She had been so sure of herself, so sure of her surroundings. She was so sure back then that Amano would be the only one for her, her only love. How wrong she was.

She landed on Gaea, feeling alone. She left Gaea feeling loneliness but happiness at the same time. She met Van on Earth. He was cold, distant, and not one who would carry on a conversation. Little did she know that he had been through so much: how his mother and father died, how his brother had abandoned the country of Fanelia, and how he was the king at the age of fifteen. She was the same age and all she had to worry about were math tests and track meets.

She fell for Allen Shezar, probably because he reminded her so much of Amano, back on Earth. Perhaps that was why she fell 'in love' with the heavenly knight. But she knew now that no matter what happened between them, it wasn't the same with Van.

With Van...with Van, it was different. He never showed his emotion in a very large way, but he did, afterwards. His promises, though Hitomi wished they were made at a different time, were to protect her. Never to let anyone hurt her. Those last moments with him at the resting place of Folken and the Escaflowne. Those were special moments that she wished she could re-live them all over again.

"Hitomi...Hitomi!" Came a voice from reality, waking Hitomi up from dreamland.

"Wha--?" She asked? Her friend laughed as she pulled Hitomi out of her seat.

"Class is over, Hitomi. Jeez, you're out of it. Thinking of your prince again?" Hitomi smiled.

"He's a king."

"Yeah, yeah. Come on, let's get out of this school, I need to get to the track before you bore me to death with your stories."

"Ha, ha, very funny..."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"I'm home!" Came Hitomi's tired greeting as she walked into her house. No answer came, which reminded Hitomi that her parents were out and her brother was at a science fiction movie fest with his friends. Which meant that Hitomi had the whole house to herself. Usually during circumstances like this, Hitomi would head to her computer and log on to chat. However, this night she was so unbelievably tired, all she wanted to do was sleep. And so, slipping off her sweaty track clothes, she put on her boxer shorts and top, which served as pj's, and snuggled into her bed.

~~~~DREAM SEQUENCE~~~~~

Hitomi looked around her. She knew distinctly where she was. She was on Gaea. She couldn't tell what country, though. Looking down the road, she saw the outskirts of the town and, more importantly, a large castle. For some strange reason, she all of a sudden knew where she was.

"Fanelia." She whispered as she started the trek to the town. Everything was so lush, so beautiful...of course, it had been about four years... they must've rebuilt the town. They did an excellent job, of course." 

She strolled through the town, watching the people working hard to rebulid what had been destroyed during the Great War with Dilandau and Ziabach. Soon, she found herself at the palace.

'_Van must be here,'_ She thought as she, surprisingly, passed the guards, who didn't oppose to her entrance. She wandered around for a while until she found herself in an exquisite garden. A young man was there, with a red top and beige pants...

"Van." She muttered and smiled. She approached him and spoke louder. "Van!"

However, when she came closer to him, she saw that he was gripping his side. He looked up at her and she saw his eyes roll back as he collapsed. His hands were bloody from the large wound on his side. She screamed, unable to believe this horrible fate. She screamed again as she saw a black figure in the bushes, holding a bow, quivers of arrows near him...

~~~~~END DREAM SEQUENCE~~~~~

Hitomi woke up with a start and looked at her watch. It was 9:30 pm.

_'I've been asleep for two and a half hours?'_ She thought sleepily. However, she sudden remembered...

Remembered the blood, remembered the emptiness in Van's eyes, remembered everything. She had to get to him, to warn him, before it was too late. Her hand instantly went to where her pendant would have been. Key words: would have been.

_'Stupid! I gave it to Van!'_ She thought angrily. How could she help him now? She was a world away!

She lay back on her pillow. She felt so absolutely helpless...so useless...

She felt her eyelids close again. She was so tired...so very tired...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hitomi woke up with a yawn. It was light outside. She had slept for quite a while. Sitting up, she noticed that she wasn't in her pj's. She was in a light blue t-shirt and a pair of jeans. She wasn't in her bed. Instead, she was in a bigger bed, with white sheets. It wasn't her room...

"Good morning, Hitomi." Came a voice from the doorway. Hitomi instinctively clutched the sheets to her and looked at the young woman who was standing at the door. She had blonde hair and blue eyes. She wore a simple dress and had almost a regal air.

_'Why does she look so familiar? Wait...if she was a bit thinner...and a bit..._' Hitomi thought, racking her memories for this young woman. It suddenly hit her like a rock.

"Millerna?" She asked, surprised. The young woman laughed and nodded.

"I didn't think I changed that much." She said, entering the room. "You certainly haven't, except for the fact that you've let your hair grow out and you've grown a bit taller." Hitomi smiled at her friend and looked more carefully at her.

"Are you...are you pregnant?" Hitomi asked tentatively. At her hesitancy, Millerna laughed.

"Actually, I am. I got back together with Dryden. Really, he is a good man." Hitomi smiled understandingly.

"And, um...how about Allen?"

"He's still as handsome as ever." Millerna giggled. "Don't tell Dryden I said that. They still aren't very good friends, let me assure you. However, he's still doing his duty over at Castello Fort."

Hitomi smiled. "That's good...um...do you think I'll be able to go to Fanelia right away? There's something I need to do there." With that, Hitomi quickly explained her dream to Millerna.

After Hitomi's quick narrative, Millerna, who was now pale, nodded. "Of course. Your dreams always were very accurate..."

With that, she was quickly put into a carriage with Millerna and took the quickest route to Fanelia.

However, she found out that she was too late...

~~~~~~~~~

Geo: Whoa! Already the end? No way! Actually, I had to end it there or else this would have been REALLY REALLY REALLY long and I mean REALLY long...I haven't even gotten to the song fic part of the fic! Gee-zus!

Brooklyn: Okay...so, there's going to be another chapter?

Geo: *punches Brooklyn* Of course, you baka...duh! I can't just leave it off here! So I'll be seeing you guys *points at the readers...hopefully there are readers* next chapter!


	2. Anguish, tears, and love

Geo

Geo: Hey hey! It's me again! This is twisted fun! Fun for the whole evil family!

Brooklyn: *blink* Okay, that was weird...Just get to the POINT already!

Geo: *sigh* You should get some patience, Brooklyn. However, she's right. So, Brooklyn, on to the disclaimer!

Brooklyn: *sigh* Well...Escaflowne does not belong to Geo. That means that Geo does not own Escaflowne. In no way does she have any part to do with it...in absolutely no way...in positively...

Geo: *mutters to readers* She'll be talking for a long time...so, on with the fic!

**If I Never Knew You**

**Part 2: Anguish, tears, and love**

Millerna somehow got the two into the castle, which was in total chaos.

_What's happening?_ Thought Hitomi anxiously. Suddenly, she saw a young woman, who had cat ears and a tail.

"Merle! Oh my gosh, Merle!" Cried Hitomi, somewhat happy to see the young cat-girl. The other half, however, was worried Merle would still be somewhat jealous because of the relationship with Van. However, Merle hugged Hitomi desperately and started to cry into her shoulder.

"Hitomi! How did you know to come?! Oh, Hitomi, I've been hoping that you would get here." She cried. Hitomi glanced over to Millerna, who shrugged.

"What do you mean, Merle. What's wrong?" Hitomi tried to sound soothing but she was overcome with fear. Her dream came back in a wave. Van's empty eyes, Van's blood staining her hand.

"What's wrong? Someone tried to assassinate him! Someone tried to kill him!" Merle sobbed. However, that was all Hitomi remembered because in the next few seconds, she blacked out.

"Hitomi! Hitomi!" Merle cried through new tears as the young woman collapsed, almost bringing Merle down with her. Millerna helped steady Merle and checked Hitomi's pulse.

"She's okay." She muttered. "We just need to get her to lie down."

"May I be of any assistance?" Came a distinctly familiar voice. Millerna looked up to see the handsome face of Allen Shezar. (A/n: Sorry...I had to do that!)

"Allen! How did you know?" Allen's blue eyes glazed over with seriousness and concern that was natural of a commander and knight.

"I heard of Van's close encounter." He said sadly, picking up the young woman and letting Merle lead them to an empty bedroom where Hitomi could rest. Millerna turned around angrily.

"What? What do you mean, you heard? Why haven't I heard about this?" Allen shrugged.

"The council, led by Merle here asked of my assistance, since I do know Van. I had to go to King Dryden, of course, but it was asked that this be kept a secret, to avoid any unnecessary chaos..."

"Unnecessary chaos? A **king** was almost **killed**!" Millerna cried but then quieted as people looked quickly towards her, tense and afraid. She glared at Allen but kept walking till an empty bedroom was found. Allen laid her down then bowed.

"I'm sorry. I had to keep it a secret. Now, excuse me. I have a meeting to attend." He left the room, leaving a very angry Millerna and a somewhat meek Merle. Suddenly, a maid entered in a hurry.

"Lady Merle! Please come quickly! It's the king." Merle gasped and turned to Millerna.

"Please, Millerna, stay with Hitomi until she wakes up." Millerna nodded and Merle turned around and left in a hurry with the flustered maid.

~*~*~*~*~

Hitomi slowly opened her eyes, hoping she was in her own bed, hoping that it was all just a horrible dream. Hoping, praying, that Van was safely in Fanelia.

"Hitomi, thank goodness you're awake." Millerna's voice came from beside the bed. It hit Hitomi hard that she was awake...and she was in reality and the dream that she had really was coming true. The dream...

"Van!" She cried, sitting up in her bed, remembering why she had fainted. "Millerna, what's happening? How long have I been out?"

"You've only been gone for a few minutes. Allen carried...where do you think you're going?" She asked as Hitomi sprang from the bed.

"To find Van. Oh dear Lord...I'm too late." Millerna nodded and together they sought out the room where Van had been resting. It wasn't too hard to find, considering the fact that many people - priests, other Holy men, many people that were obviously nobility, a few guards - were standing near one door. There was chanting and incense was being burned at the door.

"What's happening?" Asked Millerna to the nearest guard. The guard looked confused for a few moments until he recognized whom he was speaking to.

"The arrow, which did not kill His Majesty right at the moment, seems to have been traced with a slow acting poison. It seems, Queen Millerna, that King Van is dying." The guard said sadly. Hitomi felt dizzy again, but knew that she couldn't faint again. All she had to do was convince herself that Van was **not** dying. He couldn't be.

Meanwhile, Millerna dragged her into the bedroom and found the doctors in charge of the king's well-being. However, Hitomi only looked for the young warrior she had grown to love. Seeing him, new tears strained to escape from Hitomi's defenses. The young king was lying in bed, tossing and turning, murmuring things in a feverish attempt to make sense. She could see - no, more like feel - where the bandages were.

_'So it's true. I was too late.'_ She thought sadly. However, she pulled herself together. _'I'm **not** too late. If I was too late, he would be...he would be dead._' With that, she noticed Merle, crying silently in the corner, listening in to the rest of the council's conversation. Hitomi walked over to her and gave Merle's hand a squeeze.

"Don't worry," Hitomi said, trying to sound reassuring. "Everything will be alright."

"Everything will not be alright, young lady!" Said one of the councilors. "Doesn't it occur to you that His Majesty has absolutely no heir? Absolutely none! It's making us all nervous! We knew he should have been married sooner. We knew that this...this young woman from a distant place would not come back. The Mystic Moon indeed!" With that, a whole new argument arose. However, Hitomi was in shock.

_'The Mystic Moon...Earth? Why...that's got to be...'_ Hitomi gritted her teeth.

"I meant that Van will not die. He will stay alive!" She said, lifting her chin defiantly. Millerna appeared again, suddenly weary and looking older.

"I...I think they're right." Millerna said in a defeated tone, a few tears streaming down her face. "The poison cannot be recognized and therefore no cure can be found. It's slowly killing him. There isn't anything we can do." Hitomi couldn't believe her ears. Was this the young woman who, at the age of 15, had saved Allen's life when everyone thought all was lost? Was this the woman who had risked everything to follow him and to help save those sick and injured?

"I can't believe you." Hitomi said, never letting her gaze drop. Her green eyes held on to her blue ones, keeping them in a locked anger. "I can't believe you are giving up. Well, I'm not going to. Not in this lifetime. Not ever." She was enraged. All the talking, all the noise, all the chanting...it was all getting to her. And she had to stop it.

"EVERYONE! BE QUIET! GET OUT!" She cried angrily, not caring about the angry and astonished glances that were given to her. But she didn't care. "HOW DO YOU EXPECT VAN TO GET BETTER IF YOU'RE ALL CROWDED IN HERE!" Herded by Millerna and Merle, all of the people left. Before she closed the door, Merle looked back at Hitomi, her eyes almost saying 'please save Van...please'.

_'I will Merle. I won't anything happen to Van. I promise'_ Hitomi thought as she pulled open the curtains and opened the window.

"You need air, Van." She muttered, as if he could hear her.

"Hitomi..." She heard. With a gasp, she saw Van trying to struggle up.

"Van..." She whispered and hurried to his side.

_If I never knew you, if I never felt this love,_

_I would have no inkling of how precious life can be._

"Van, don't try to get up." She said desperately, trying to push him down. However, he grabbed her hand, holding it in his.

"Please, Hitomi...I just wanted to see you again." He muttered. Hitomi shook her head and pushed him down with her other hand.

"Shh, Van. You're feverish. Please, just let me take care of you."

_And if I never held you, I would never have a clue_

_How, at last, I'd find in you the missing part of me._

"Hitomi, I'm glad you came. I was afraid...I was afraid I wouldn't able to see you again."

_How, at last, I'd find in you the missing part of me._

_In this world so full of fear, full of rage and lies,_

"Don't talk like that, Van." Hitomi said, the tears escaping from her eyes, falling down her face. Van smiled up at her and wiped the tears gently away.

"Please don't cry, Hitomi. You're much too beautiful to cry..."

_I can see the truth so clear in your eyes,_

_So dry your eyes_

Hitomi blushed at the compliment but got back to work, wiping the sweat from his brow with a wet cloth.

"I...I know what happened, Van. I know how you were...were almost killed." She said quietly. "It came to me in a dream, but in the dream...you were already dead. I had to come to make sure you were okay." Van closed his eyes.

"I would've been dead, had it not been for you, Hitomi."

_And I'm so grateful to you,_

_I'd have lived my whole life through_

_Lost forever, if I never knew you._

"What do you mean?" Hitomi asked. "I only just got here."

"You warned me. In a dream." He tried to get up once again, but failed just as he did the first time. Hitomi narrowed her eyes.

"A...a dream?" Van nodded his head wearily.

"You said I was in great danger in the dream. You didn't say exactly what. When I woke up, I was confused, so I went to the garden to get away from the council's constant nagging. I sat there until I thought I heard you scream. Turning around, I saw the...the person with his bow drawn back. He almost missed me. Unfortunately...I still got hit."

_If I never knew you, I'd be safe but half as real,_

_Never knowing I could feel a love so strong and true._

"I helped you? In my dream, I was too late." Hitomi muttered, utterly confused. Van smiled.

"I think you still are..."

_I'm so grateful to you_

_I'd have lived my whole life through,_

_Lost forever if I never knew you._

"What do you mean?" Hitomi asked fiercely, her emerald eyes meeting Van's weary red ones.

_I thought our love would be so beautiful..._

"I heard what the doctors said, Hitomi. I know what's going on. They say there's a poison in me. And I don't know if they're entirely wrong."

_Somehow we'd make the whole world bright._

"No, Van. You're wrong. They're wrong. You're not going to die." Hitomi said, turning her head to calm her nerves down."

_I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong,_

_All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night,_

_But still my heart is saying we were right._

"Hitomi..." Van started but she shook her head.

"No, Van. I'm not letting you believe those people. NO!" Hitomi said fiercely, turning back to him. "They're wrong. You're alive...and that's the way it's going to stay."

_Oh. If I never knew you,_

"Hitomi, I can feel myself dying." Van said with equal force. Hitomi gasped and shook her head.

_There's no moment I regret_

"No...no, it can't be true...I won't believe it."

_If I never knew this love,_

"Believe it, Hitomi. I can feel the poison as a part of me, surging through my veins. I can feel it killing me with every passing second. It's a cold feeling, a terrifying feeling, but I'm not scared, Hitomi. Not anymore..."

_Since the moment that we met._

"Why aren't you scared, Van?" Hitomi whispered. "I would be. If I thought I was dying..." She closed her eyes and remembered all those times when she could feel death looming nearer to her...the falls from cliffs...her heart stopping in Chid's palace...all of those times, though, all of those deaths had been averted by her winged warrior: Van.

_I would have no inkling of how precious life can be._

"Because I got to see you one last time..." Van smiled and sighed. "If only I told you how I really felt...that I've been waiting for you for the past five years or so...I've missed you Hitomi. But I had the pendant...I didn't think I'd ever get to see you again."

_If our time has gone too fast I've lived at last._

"Don't say that, Van!" Hitomi said, regaining her wits from Van's confession of death. "Don't say that! This isn't the last time you'll see me. You'll see me again...you'll see me a lot...don't ever say that!"

_I thought our love would be so beautiful,_

_Somehow we'd make the whole world bright._

"I'm sorry, Hitomi...I'm sorry for waiting so long to tell you this...but it's either now or never..." Van looked into Hitomi's eyes and smiled peacefully. Hitomi didn't say anything, fearing what he would say.

"I didn't know this at first, Hitomi. But after a while, I was so sure, there would never be a doubt in my mind who I loved the most...that's you, Hitomi..."

_I thought our love would be so beautiful,_

_We'd turn the darkness into light._

"It was torture waiting for you...absolute torture, and I knew it was my fault for letting you go without saying anything. I prayed to the gods above that perhaps, you'd wait for the right time...that I would be the one you loved too. But, I'm also happy. Because, you showed me what true love really was. If I never knew, I'd probably be either dead, or married to a rich noble because I had to for the bloodline. I'm sorry to leave, now that I have you back, but...just remember, Hitomi...I love you."

_And still my heart is saying we were right_

Hitomi's eyes filled with new tears as she said, "I love you too, Van. Please, Van, I'm here now. Don't leave me now!"

_We were right. And if I never knew you,_

Van smiled, a mix of joy and sorrow came to his eyes. However, he grimaced and squeezed her hand tighter. The pain of the poison, finally coming into full effect, made his eyes water.

"Hold on, Van. Please, just hold on." Hitomi whispered desperately, trying to soothe him as she could feel his body tremble with the amount of pain he was going through.

_If I never knew you,_

"I'm sorry, Hitomi...I love you." With a sigh of letting go, Van's eyes closed and he lay still...dead.

_I'd have lived my whole life through_

Hitomi shook her head. "No...No! NO! VAN YOU CAN'T DIE!" She screamed, causing the door to open and Allen, Millerna, and Merle came running in.

"NO VAN, DON'T DIE ON ME NOW! WE'VE BEEN THROUGH TO MUCH! YOU CAN'T...You can't..."

_Empty as the sky,_

"Van," Hitomi whispered, never letting go of his hand. "Van, I can't live with you...please, don't die." There was no response. At that, Hitomi started to sob, anguished cries that the whole castle could hear. And everyone knew that their king had died.

_Never knowing why_

Hitomi's body wracked with sobs, but she never let go of his hand. She would never let go. Lying her head against his chest, she mourned for her love.

_'How stupid I am! How could I let him die! I failed him...I failed Merle...I failed everyone...__I can't live without him! What am I going to do...what am I going to do? I wish...I wish with all my heart that he was still alive...because I need him.' _She shrugged off Merle and Allen's supporting hands as Millerna confirmed Van's death.

Suddenly, the pendant, which Van had been wearing, started to glow. Hitomi turned away to shield her eyes from the blinding light that the pendant was casting. And as quickly as it had started, it ended.

Hitomi looked at Van, but he was still lying there, peacefully...dead...

_'_'_I'm sorry, Van. I'm so terribly sorry...I should've come back sooner.'_ With one last look, she let Merle and Allen lead her away...

_Lost forever, if I never knew you_

"Oh gods! He has a pulse! He's breathing!" Millerna's surprised exclamations came to Hitomi's ears like a beautiful song. She turned around and saw Van trying to sit up again.

"Hitomi...where's Hitomi." He muttered, searching the bright room for her.

"Van!" She cried happily and ran back to her bedside. "Van, you're alive!" She hugged him, which caused the young king to blush but he hugged her back. 

"Of course I'm alive. I'm sorry that I almost left you...I'm so sorry."

"It's alright," She said, feeling tears fall down again, but for joy. "It's alright...but NEVER do that again!" She heard Van chuckle.

"I promise, Hitomi. I'll never leave your side again."

~*~*~*~*~*~

In a few short days, Van was up and walking again. Hitomi and Merle stayed by his side practically the whole time, arguing, like old days, who was going to do what for Van. Van was constantly blushing over the attention, but enjoyed the company of one of his best friends and his true love.

After a few weeks, Van had been allowed to take short walks. This particular night, he was walking alone with Hitomi in the garden.

"This...this is so beautiful yet...it brings back such bad memories." Van squeezed her hand and gave a reassuring smile.

"Everything will be fine. I promise." Hitomi smiled and blushed. She looked up at the night sky and sighed as she saw the Mystic Moon...her home. Van followed her gaze and sighed.

"You want to go back, don't you?" Hitomi faced him, a look of terror on her face.

"No, of course not! I'm not leaving ever again..." She sighed. "I just wish that perhaps...I could finish my degree and see my family for one last time...and..." She shook her head. "No. I'm not going if you don't want me to." Van smiled.

"That's very generous of you, Hitomi. However, I can't keep you back. I just...I just want you to promise to come back again, if you are going to leave." Hitomi looked at his anguished eyes yet he was smiling, trying to be comforting.

"I want to get a degree, Van...but I want to stay here..."

"Then how about I come get you on your birthday of your 22nd year. I'll come and get you and you can come back here and, perhaps...live with me here in the castle..." Hitomi smiled.

"I'd love to. It's agreed then. On my 22nd birthday. I should have at least a college degree by then." Van smiled and took something out of his pocket. It was a ring. Not an engagement ring, but with a single aquamarine stone in the middle.

"This is...this is to say thank you." He said, putting it in her hand.

"Why?"

"For helping me during the great war...for believing in me...for not giving up..." He said, smiling. Hitomi smiled and put it on. 

She threw her arms around his neck, going on tiptoe to whisper in his ear, "Thank you, Van. I promise to come back."

And in the light of moon, the young king kissed his loved one softly, repeating the promise in his mind.

_'I'll be back...I promise.'_

_~~~~~~~~~~_

Geo: DONE! Yeah! Finally...gosh, that took me a long time to write. Gee-zus!

Brooklyn: *throwing away a kleenex* You killed Van!

Geo: I did not!

Brooklyn: Yes you did!

Geo: Okay, technically he did die for a few moments...but he's still alive! All is good! All is good...

Brooklyn: Cherry is going to kill you...she is going to hit you and hurt you and kick you...

Geo: *sigh* So, did I surprise you all? Huh? Did you think I was going to really kill Van? Come on, he's way to cool to die! Ha ha! Well, hope you liked it!

Oh, wait a moment...I just wanted to say that that was my first VOE fanfic. So...don't be too mad.


End file.
